Why "Treat others as you want to be treated" is an outdated saying, and steps we can take to change (2024)

As a society, we've been taught to follow the golden rule of "treat others as you want to be treated". While this sounds good in theory, it's not necessarily the best approach to treating people. In fact, we should be treating people the way that they want to be treated, not the way we want to be treated.

Why is this the case? For one, everyone has different wants and needs. What might be important to us may not be important to someone else. For example, you might think that a certain gesture is kind or helpful, but to someone else, it might be annoying or even offensive. By treating others the way we want to be treated, we run the risk of projecting our own values and beliefs onto others, which can lead to misunderstandings and even conflict.

So how can we start treating people the way they want to be treated? Here are a few steps we can take:

1. Ask for feedback: One way to understand how someone wants to be treated is to simply ask them. Ask for their preferences, opinions, and needs. This shows that you value their input and are willing to accommodate their needs.
2. Practice empathy: Empathy is the ability to put ourselves in someone else's shoes and understand their perspective. By practicing empathy, we can better understand someone else's needs and tailor our behavior accordingly.
3. Respect diversity: Everyone is unique, and we should celebrate and respect our differences. By recognizing and respecting diversity, we can better understand how different people want to be treated and avoid making assumptions or stereotyping.

Treating others the way we want to be treated is an outdated saying that no longer serves us well. Instead, we should focus on treating people the way they want to be treated. By doing so, we can build stronger relationships, increase understanding, and create a more inclusive and respectful society.