Parents and kids disagree on the right age to become financially independent, report finds (2024)

Most people feel like a grownup by the time they're 18, but these days young adults might not become financially independent until years later.

And even then, parents and their children could disagree on what exactly that means.

While young adults said 21 is a good age to start paying some of their own expenses, older generations are more likely to think that their kids should be completely financially independent by then, according to a new report by Bankrate.com.

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In part, millennials and Gen Z facefinancial challengesthat their parents did not as young adults. On top of carrying much morestudent loan debt, their wages are lower than their parents' earnings when they were in their 20s and 30s.

Of course, inflationhas made it even harder for those trying to achieve financial independence. Soaring food andhousing costspose additional hurdles for young adults just starting out.

Now, 68% of parents with children over age 18 are making a financial sacrifice to help support them, according to Bankrate's report.

From buying groceries to paying for cell phone plans or covering health and auto insurance, parents are spending more than $1,400 a month, on average, helping their adult children makeendsmeet, a separatereport by Savings.com found.

When 'offering financial assistance can backfire'

Jason Stitt | Getty Images

For parents, however, supporting grown children can be a substantial drain at a time when their own financial security is in jeopardy.

"Remember that saying about putting your oxygen mask on before helping others?" said Ted Rossman, Bankrate's senior industry analyst. "Offering financial assistance can backfire if it puts your own savings, investments and financial well-being at risk."

About half of parents with adult children said that support has come at the expense of their own emergency savings or ability to pay down debt, while slightly fewer said supporting their children has been detrimental to their retirement savings, Bankrate found.

'Where to draw the line'

"It's hard to know exactly where to draw that line," Rossman said. Make sure the assistance works within your budget and be clear about the parameters — at the very least, discuss it, he advised. "It might help to attach a specific dollar amount or timeframe."

"Everybody is everyone else's lifeboat when it comes to hitting an iceberg," saidLaurence Kotlikoff, economics professor at Boston University and president ofMaxiFi, which offers financial planning software.

However, "it has to go both ways," Kotlikoff said. "Parents are providing a lot of support, and the kids have to realize that the quid pro quo here is that they're going to be expected to take care of their parents."

Having an open dialogue can help, he added. "Once that conversation gets going, it can continue for the next 40 years."

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Parents and kids disagree on the right age to become financially independent, report finds (2024)

FAQs

At what age should a child be financially independent? ›

“Household formation costs are very expensive, college is very expensive – everything costs more. I have a lot of empathy for people who are just starting out.” That said, the typical age of financial independence should be between 20-23 years old, according to a Bankrate survey.

Should parents help adult children financially? ›

It's important to make clear to your adult kids that it's their responsibility and in their best long-term interests to earn their own way. Stress that any financial assistance you provide to them should be viewed as a bridge to their eventual financial independence — and not a handout.

At what age should a man be financially stable? ›

At what age should you be financially stable? Financial stability is more about maintaining control over your finances rather than hitting numbers at a specific age. However, aiming to attain stability by your late 20s to early 30s can be beneficial, allowing time for savings, debt reduction and investments.

Should I date a man who is not financially stable? ›

No, many people find that money issues are a deal breaker.

It's okay if a guy's money problems give you pause. If he's not financially stable and he shows no signs of changing his habits, take that into account when you're deciding whether or not to pursue a serious relationship with him.

When should kids start paying for themselves? ›

Key Details. Baby boomers believe young people should pay their own bills between the ages of 19 and 22, while millennials say between 20 to 24. This includes car insurance, healthcare costs, credit-card bills, student loans, and cell-phone bills.

At what age should a child be able to count money? ›

The Money Advice Service shows that children begin to understand that money can be exchanged for goods around the age of 7. They also highlight that children's potential for learning is extraordinary, meaning that teaching financial literacy at this age can be highly beneficial.

Are parents responsible for adult children's debt? ›

Once a child turns 18, the child is legally responsible for his or her own medical bills unless the parent signs an agreement with the medical provider to pay those bills. As for other debts incurred by children under 18, parents generally are not legally liable for these debts.

Am I obligated to help my parents financially? ›

Filial laws require children to provide for parents' basic needs such as food, housing, and medical care. The extent of filial responsibility varies by state, along with conditions that make it enforceable including the parent's age and the adult child's financial situation.

Should I let my child spend their own money? ›

It's good to let your kids have some financial freedom–especially if they're working part-time and have earned a little spending money. But try to keep them relatively reigned in.

What is the average age of becoming financially independent? ›

45% of young adults say they are completely financially independent from their parents. Among those in their early 30s, that share rises to 67%, compared with 44% of those ages 25 to 29 and 16% of those ages 18 to 24.

What percent of Americans are financially independent? ›

SAN MATEO, Calif., Aug. 22, 2023 /PRNewswire/ -- Despite most Americans having modest expectations of what it means to attain financial freedom, just 1-in-10 (11%) report they are living their definition of financial freedom, according to a new survey by Achieve, the leader in digital personal finance.

What is the average salary to be financially stable? ›

To feel comfortable or financially secure, Americans need a salary of roughly $233,000 a year on average, Bankrate found. That's over three times the median U.S. household income of about $71,000 a year, according to Census Bureau data.

At what point is a relationship not worth saving? ›

There is no emotional or physical connection or intimacy. You have differing goals in life. You no longer trust each other. You can't imagine a future together.

Are financially stable people happier? ›

The Killingsworth Study

They were also surveyed about their income and satisfaction with their lives. Using this data, which constituted over 1.7 million experience samples, Professor Killingsworth found that larger incomes “were robustly associated” with both greater happiness and greater life satisfaction.

At what age are you independent for financial aid? ›

You can only qualify as an independent student on the FAFSA if you are at least 24 years of age, married, on active duty in the U.S. Armed Forces, financially supporting dependent children, an orphan (both parents deceased), a ward of the court, or an emancipated minor.

What is the best age to make financial decisions? ›

The prime years for making smart financial decisions are, on average, 53 and 54. At around that age, people have accumulated knowledge and experience about money, spending and saving, but haven't begun losing key analytic cognitive skills.

How much do you have to make a year to be financially independent? ›

It doesn't take an exorbitant salary, either. Americans say they'd need to earn about $94,000 a year on average to feel financially independent. That's about $20,000 more than the median household income of $74,580.

Should parents stop helping their children at the age of 18? ›

Even though your children may require less physical support as they grow into adulthood, they still benefit from emotional support at any age. Be there for your children to answer questions, listen to concerns, encourage interests, praise accomplishments, and provide advice when prompted.

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