I have a good job and savings, so why do I still worry about money? (2024)

How do I deal with financial anxiety? I’m in a pretty good financial position, but I still feel anxious about money all the time. I’m in my mid-30s and my job pays really well, I can comfortably afford my lifestyle, with plenty leftover for savings, and I’ve already paid off more than half of the mortgage on my home. So, rationally, I know I’m in a good place and shouldn’t feel stressed. But I still find myself overthinking small expenses a hundred times, or getting upset about unforeseen expenses that I know I can afford.

The misconception many people have is that financial anxiety is purely a consequence of how much you have in your bank account. So, if you just had more money, you wouldn’t be financially stressed, right? But the truth is that more money doesn’t always solve the problem.

That doesn’t mean it can’t help. If you’re a low-income earner for example, increasing your income so you can comfortably afford bills can significantly reduce stress.

But financial anxiety exists at all levels of income and wealth. So, you’re not alone in feeling financially anxious even though, on paper, you’re in a good place.

Here are some things you can do that might help:

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1. What is your money “story” and the meaning you give to money? Imagine that money is something that’s pretty neutral, like water.

Now imagine that you grew up in the middle of a desert where water was scarce. You had to fight tooth and nail every day to find water. Sounds traumatic right?

Chances are, you would grow up with a different relationship to water than most people who could get water freely and abundantly from a tap.

Even if your situation changed as an adult, you might still see water as a precious resource, never to be wasted. You might be scared to take long showers or wash your hands too much. This is what happens with money.

By the time you reach adulthood, you already have many ideas about money that you’re most likely not even aware of as a result of the circ*mstances and influences in your life.

You need to write and rehearse a new story, until the old one is a distant memory.

For example, say you grew up watching your parents penny-pinch to make ends meet. You may have learned that frugality was key to survival.

Now as an adult, maybe you feel guilty indulging yourself. Maybe the idea of spending anything more than the bare minimum feels like a threat to your very survival.

Once you see what the origins were for your anxiety, and how it might have served you once but is no longer needed in your current situation, you can make a more intentional choice to let it go.

2. Create and intentionally practise a new story. Once you’ve identified some of the old stories that have fuelled your anxiety, it’s time to think about what you’d like your new relationship with money to be.

For example, instead of seeing spending as wasteful, some people choose to experience gratitude for every purchase they can afford.

Or instead of focusing on the money being spent, some people choose to focus on the value being gained by that purchase (because remember, spending money is just a value exchange).

These shifts might seem silly or insignificant, but when practised consistently over a period of time, they will slowly start to change how you think and feel about money.

Currently, you have a well-practised story that you’ve been telling yourself for years. So, you need to write and rehearse a new story, until the old one is a distant memory.

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3. On a more practical note, fill any gaps in your money management skills. Now, I’ve intentionally kept this to last because it sounds like you’re already doing a pretty good job with this, so this may not be a big problem for you.

But I want to include it briefly because it can have a major impact on financial anxiety.

In my experience, many people feel anxious about money, despite doing well on paper, because they don’t know what they’re doing – and that causes them to feel out of control.

In such cases, more money can just worsen the anxiety because now they have even more money that they don’t know what to do with. It’s a bit like having to drive a fancy car, without knowing how to drive.

In such cases, learning how to track your income and expenses, creating a streamlined savings system, investing any disposable income, and managing your super can go a long way to helping you feel more in control and therefore more relaxed about your finances.

Paridhi Jain is the founder of SkilledSmart, which helps adults learn to manage, save and invest their money through financial education courses and classes.

• Advice given in this article is general in nature and is not intended to influence readers’ decisions about investing or financial products. They should always seek their own professional advice that takes into account their own personal circ*mstances before making any financial decisions.

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