How Has Money Affected Your Relationships? Tell Us Your Stories. (2024)

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Send us your true stories about how money has complicated or transformed your relationships, for possible inclusion in a Modern Love project.

How Has Money Affected Your Relationships? Tell Us Your Stories. (1)

By The New York Times

In relationships, money may be the most taboo of subjects. Yet it can evoke a world of complicated emotions: shame, envy, anxiety, pride, panic, trust, possibility. And it can create a host of tricky situations: the partner who earns more versus the partner who has to do more domestically (or the partner who does both); a welcomed feeling of financial independence after divorce; family members at odds over an inheritance; friendships or romantic relationships that feel out of balance because of a difference in class status.

We want to hear your true stories about how money has complicated or transformed your relationships. We are looking for particular instances when financial dynamics come to the fore, especially in surprising and unexpected ways. Tell us, in no more than 150 words, the way finances have informed the way you relate to others (or, perhaps, the way others relate to you).

We will contact you if we are interested in learning more about your story for possible inclusion in an upcoming Modern Love project. (We’re asking for locations and age ranges to ensure this project features people from a variety of places and stages of life. We will not publish any part of your response without following up with you and obtaining your consent.)

Money and Relationships

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How Has Money Affected Your Relationships? Tell Us Your Stories. (2024)

FAQs

How has money affected your relationships? ›

More than half of respondents (57%) think a loss of income or salary reduction would negatively impact their relationship. Around 41% of respondents have hidden certain expenses from their partner, and 10% of respondents feel uncomfortable with a partner accessing their personal finances.

How does money play a role in a relationship? ›

Financial stability is a crucial factor in a healthy relationship and having a stable source of income can provide peace of mind and security. Being employed can also indicate a strong work ethic and responsibility, which are important qualities in a partner.

What was the effect of money in the couples attitude? ›

Matters of finance can strain relationships in many ways, such as when spouses keep secret debts from their partners or, as a recent study showed, when wives make more than their husbands. One source of conflict is how differently people are raised to think about saving, spending, and investing.

Why is it important to understand your relationship with money? ›

Money relationships at either end of the spectrum are generally detrimental—you must find a healthy balance. A "normal" or "secure" relationship with money means that your acquisition, spending and management styles will not cause financial difficulties, and that you are reasonably content with the relationship.

How can money affect someone? ›

Money problems can affect your social life and relationships. You might feel lonely or isolated, or like you can't afford to do the things you want to.

Do most relationships fail because of money? ›

It's estimated that financial problems contribute to 20-40% of all divorces. That means that for every 10 marriages that end in divorce, four of them are because of money.

How does money relate to love? ›

While it may not seem very romantic, being aware of the potential issues that money can raise may be the very thing that helps love grow. So don't shy away from understanding one another financially. Rather, see it as an important part of taking care of each other, yourself—and the future of your relationship.

What is important money or relationship? ›

Relations are going to be there for us if we are down, need someone to talk to or whatever the case may be. But the fact is one can't imagine relation without money. Money is indispensable. Money as a factor is important in all aspects of life.

How important is income in a relationship? ›

Over 50% of both women and men said they would choose to be in a relationship with someone even if that person earned significantly less money than them. Of those who answered that they wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who earned significantly less, the reasoning was mostly encouraging.

How can money or wealth affect people's behaviors and relationships? ›

Money can affect social relationships in different ways. Unequal wealth can lead to a power imbalance in relationships, and financial stress can strain family and romantic relationships. On the other hand, shared financial goals can strengthen bonds between people.

In what ways does money impact social relationships? ›

Financial Psychology Theory

The social or economic exchange theory suggests that people use money as a form of reward or punishment in relationships. This can create power imbalances or struggles and feelings of insecurity or inferiority.

Why does money break up relationships? ›

For Millennial couples in particular, money is the biggest source of arguments, more so than spending time together, chores or intimacy. So-called “red flags” around money include when someone expects the other to pay for everything, as well as reckless spending.

How money affects relationships? ›

Money is the number one issue married couples fight about, and it's the second leading cause of divorce, behind infidelity. When we talk about money in relationships of any kind, we're bound to find some frustration and tension.

What is the disadvantage of money in relationship? ›

In this article:
  • Differences in Financial Goals.
  • Lack of Communication About Big Money Decisions.
  • Financial Infidelity.
  • Drastically Different Spending Habits.
  • Income Differences.
Feb 17, 2023

How do you change your relationship with money? ›

Prioritize and cultivate a positive and mindful approach to money. Build smart financial habits: Learn to budget, save, and invest wisely. Understand the emotional side of financial decisions. Seek help from a trusted financial advisor and surround yourself with others who have good relationships with money.

How does financial well-being impact relationships? ›

The way you manage your finances can significantly impact your emotional and physical health, your relationships, and your overall quality of life. Research by Australian Unity found that people with higher scores in the area of financial control tend to have higher overall well-being scores.

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